Sunday, August 5, 2007

WHO'S THAT LOOKING BACK


Most of us know people that are actually in love with themselves and think they're the "cats meow". I even saw an episode on Dr. Phil where one guy couldn't stop looking in the mirror and checking himself out. It was causing him huge relationship problems with his wife. I also saw a video clip of Paris Hilton who would walk anywhere on the streets and go straight to the nearest mirror or window that would show her reflection in it. It was a bit sickening how obsessed one person could be and I know Paris isn't the only one guilty of this act.

As I began to notice that some of us may perhaps be in love with ourselves a little too much I began to wonder if I in fact would even date myself. Sure that probably sounds a bit silly but seriously, would you take yourself out for a date? I mean sure some of us have days where we pamper ourselves with manicures or a little shopping spree, but if there was another one of you, perhaps in the opposite sex, would you in fact be your own perfect match? When I had first thought about this, I told myself "yeah why wouldn't I date me?" but when I really thought about it and thought of the negative things I see in myself, I wasn't so certain that I would. Sure I think I'm cute, fun, artistic and so forth, but I started wondering if the negative things I saw about myself outweighed the positives.

I even had a girlfriend that joined one of those online dating sites, I'm sure many of you know about those. Well my friend told me that after she had filled out hundreds of questions giving her honest answers and was ready to see who she matched with from her answers...she claims the dating website told her she wouldn't match with anyone. First off I find it hard to believe that a dating site is unable to at least give you a few people to date, but I suppose it's very possible that she did get those as her results. I mean some of us meet "the one" and for some they have several soul mates throughout their lives but not everyone finds a soul mate. Perhaps I don't have a soul mate either but, "what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger".

Saturday, August 4, 2007

SECOND CHANCES

I'm not exactly certain that many of you or any of you out there have ever given someone a "second chance" at something. I am usually caught doing such acts as the "second chance" meaning you've forgiven another person for something for the first time thus giving them another chance. Perhaps I shouldn't be so forgiving since my past relationships have all failed me but deep down I suppose I'm a pretty forgiving person that just wants to get along with everyone.

To make a long story short, I apologized to the man I had been dating for the past two months and he apologized as well. We came to the conclusion that in order for us to ever have a healthy relationship we're going to have to communicate better with one another. If you ask me it's hard starting a new relationship because you want things to go smoothly but in some cases a lot of negative things may occur in the beginning and things that go unsaid because you don't want to doom this new relationship. With myself when all these negative things continue on and build up inside my brain, I eventually explode with negative feedback when pushed over the edge and it's not very charming.

Speaking of "second chances" I spoke with someone that I've really begun to like over the past few months and he mentioned to me about him being a bit hurt that I had picked another man over him. As it turned out the man I had been with, I believe he tried to play me for a fool of some sort and the man who is still a bit down about the whole thing has continued to talk to me and befriend me.

I really hope he can see things from my perspective and forgive me for the things I did because I really care about him, even if he lives a four day drive away. The relationship we have is a bit odd to me because even when we're single or when we're dating we always talk like we really want to be with each other even though I wouldn't go so far as to say that we're cheating since we've never met but, who knows what the future holds in store for both of us.